I Just Remembered I'm Not Home
I was a collector for many years. I had to leave the profession in 2003 due to health reasons. Over the years I talked to many people. I want to share some of the stories I heard. Some are funny and some are encouraging, some are poignant.
I would be assigned a portfolio to work each month. One month I was assigned one and was going through it when I found an account belong to a woman who was 101 years old. Normally when someone that old has an account, it is usually fraud by a family memeber. I have seen that scenario so many times. Also when they are that age often they have no clue about it. So I kept putting off calling her. Finally it came to the end of the month and I had to at least make an effort. Oh I hated to do it. So I thought, I'll call,ask for her,if she's there I'll just run through it quick and get off the fon. I couldn't have been more wrong. I called, she answered, I explained why I was calling.
Her reply:(I still remember it to this day)
I'm sorry young man that I'm behind, I usually always pay my bills. But right now I am trying to finish school, become a realtor and learn the internet. I"M GOING TO THE TOP !!! I wanted to say " you go Granny and forget paying this mastercard." But I couldn't say that. ( Not if I wanted to keep my job) Heck if I would have had the money I would have paid it for her myself. She was as alert and spry as a 20 year old. God bless her !!
I had another elderly lady that I will never forget. She was 83 years old. We used an automated dialer so we called and she was on the phone. As she is talking I am listening to her and reading the notes on her account. I saw a recent note:
"card member used card for bail to get out of jail after attacking a police officer"
Ok Ok I had to ask.
"It wasn't for beating a police officer. It was for DUI"
"Ok"; I thought to myself, "she was drinking and driving"
Then she stated "I was upset because my husband left me to go chase girls at UCLA."
In my mind I am thinking he must be about 80 years old.
What she told me next almost floored me
"You know, he's only 35"
????????
I called a lady once. She answered and identified herself. When she found out why I was calling she said "Ooopps I just remembered, I'm not home"
I had a gentleman I called. He was going on about his business and how much he was having to spend. Sometimes we say something and it doesn't come up like we intended.
He said " I have a lot of assets"
Quickly(without thinking) I replied " Then don't you think you need to cover your assets?"
I called another gent. " clearly Id'd myself as "AAA" (not real name of company I worked for") I verified "Joe Smith."(not real) He was about to do a check over the phone when he stopped and said " Ya know come to think of it, I don't even have an account with you"
On another call, again I clearly Id(again we use AAA) my company. I even repeated the name 2 or 3 times in the conversation. The lady lit into me" I have already sent you a payment" She was tearing me up one side and down the other. We both thought that we had lost the payment. I was apologizing profusely. Then she got her checkbook and said "I sent check 150 to ABC company on the 3rd." I replied " Great !! I am glad you did. But we are AAA."
She apologized and said she would send a check.
And the truth shall make you free. I called a lady. Her account was $1000 overlimit. She got mad and said it must be our mistake. She hadn't used it for 2 months and the last time she used it,the balance was $2500 below the limit. I started reading off a lot of recent charges.
Fredericks of Hollywood $300
Joes Bar $225
Red Lobster $75
Holliday Inn $350
Ok you get the idea
"I'm sorry sir, I will send you the money right away, Now if you will excuse me I have some pressing business"
As the phone was being hung up I heard "Fred you &#@**, I'm going to kill you then divorce you"
I had a lady call me the day before her account was going to charge off. Charge off is a bad thing and makes your credit even worse so we wanted to prevent that. She said she wanted to get caught up. There was no way that it would get there in time if she mailed the payment So I responded," Sure we can set something up but you will have to do some checks over the phone.
She yelled:
" WHAT?? WHAT?? sex over the phone? I just called Sears and they didn't make me do that"
I was flabbergasted. I took a few seconds for me to regain my composure. Then I repeated what I said. We both laughed and we began to get her account in order. As all companies do, calsl get monitored. I just happened to look up and see my team leader listening in and almost rolling on the floor with laughter. I was so embarrassed
This last antedote is hilarious. Not what happened but the way she said it. I called about her account. I am going to quote verbatim what she said:“ Let me tell you what happened.
I have 2 teenage daughters and I am a single parent. I slipped in the bathroom and hit my elbow(oooouuuccchh) on the toilet and broke it. When the plumbers got there they discovered my pipes needed work. So that’s why I am behind. Please understand I’m a single parent with 2 teenage daughters and I NEED a toilet.”
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